An Unexpected Aha ~ How Love Is Changing Me

 

Open to Love

 

‘We look for solutions by asking questions such as “How can this situation be improved?” and listening for answers. Gratitude for the guidance we receive helps us to understand that no condition is final, no suffering hopeless. Every situation gives us an opportunity to open to greater understanding. As appreciation deepens, love and wisdom are born.’

~? From Living Without Regret; Growing Old in the Light of Tibetan Buddhism by Arnaud Maitland

‘You are not trapped in the world you see, because its cause can be changed. This change requires, first, that the cause be identified and then [second) let go, so that [third] it can be replaced. The first two steps in this process require your cooperation. The final one does not.’

~ A Course in Miracles (W-p1.23.5:1-4).

 

The Beauty of living Life is that the more you?experience the more you realize the less you know.

This has been such an eye opening time for me while being in single habitation. I have been on this Spiritual Journey for more than half of my life here and yet recently, more is opening up and being revealed to me about mySelf.

I have always been an approachable person by ones who are in the throes of distress. They tend to come to me and find me a safe haven when entering into?stormy seas and I then send them off once the storms have passed into Peaceful currents with my Blessings.

I myself, have sailed over and through many stormy seas in my life. I am a mariner’s daughter. And one thing is for certain is that in Nature, the storms do not cease in returning in their natural seasons, I just had to become adept to be able to ride the cycles of Life and flow with them. This has allowed me to become more stabilized when the storms are brewing and to not freak out.

I Invited the Holy Spirit while in this state of solitude and calmness to open my eyes into the Deeper Mysteries of mySelf and as I have shared, God~Spirit responds to our Invitations.

I sensed to Invite Divine Presence into a deeper examination inside of me and to cleanse and purify me of any residual ‘scraps of fear’ as A Course in Miracles’ calls it. And wow ~ It’s amazing what shows up ~

I am seeing more deeply into the old patterns in my life that have not served me well or are no longer useful. And I am thankful for ones like Kathie, a Soul Sister Friend whom has known me for just over half of my life here, who a few years ago in one of our more difficult conversations that takes place in the HeartSpace between True Friends, lovingly shared with me to open up to letting Love in more by allowing ones who loved me to draw closer and be a help for me if necessary.

I had an unconscious tendency to withdraw when the storms were brewing and would not accept others close to me to help. And I was hurting ones closest to me without realizing it and in actuality myself. I had not been aware of this and so, I tucked this one inside for handing over for observation as well.

What comes to mind here is something I heard back in the church days …

‘The measure of one’s giving is proportional to one’s ability to receive’

I have kept that one tucked withIn for many many years and it is funny how something can change in its meaning throughout the years, becoming more profound and this one certainly has, especially more recently. I see more clearly that I have a tendency to give myself to others yet have not allowed mySelf to receive from God through others. I have a tendency to not ask for help, let alone let ones know that I may need help. Truth.

As Robert, my Beloved Friend who recently passed, use to say and like my mother was before him, I have been what is known as a ‘GDI’, in Robert ~ ese ‘A God Damn Independent’ much to the dismay of dear ones.

So, hmm … how did I develop this tendency? Well, again, I am also what is known as a Keeper of the Stories, so, in looking through mine … oh my ~

I was born to parents who were children of the Depression and World War II Years, and when the opportunity presented itself to get the heck out of Dodge, well, they both seized it and moved as far away as possible. My mother being Asian, had Asian tendencies even though she had moved to America, embraced it?warmly and became an American citizen proudly, yet, she was still infused with her Asian ways.

I was told to not ever speak to ‘outsiders’ of our inside family stuff. I remember my mother saying, ‘Don’t talk about your problems to nobody, keep it to yourself, nobody wants to hear what your troubles are, they have enough of their own.’ And I never really saw how deep this had influenced me as in being consciously aware of doing this. I do not say this to cast blame on my mother, I see it as her way of protecting me truly.

While I am personable which is why ones feel at ease in sharing with me and I am able to keep what is shared with me safe, I tend to feel that if one is going through their own troubles then why should I burden them with mine. And in the rare moments when I have shared with some ‘fair weather only friends’ along the way, well they looked at me in disbelief as though I should not have troubles of my own and should always be the stalwart and strong one, maintaining my happy go lucky nature at all times. And their disappearance only reinforced this idea in me.

I am seeing much more clearly now that I am a part of a Loving Universal Community. A give and receive Way. And it is a seed of false pride, a ‘scrap of fear’ based thinking that can keep me or you from ‘letting on’ or?sharing our struggles with?others. How eye opening, and here I was just believing I was being strong in the face of challenges?by not burdening others. I was in a sense wearing a mask! Oh wow! Me? I do not like lying and deception and therein lies the reflection. I had been lying to myself! That I was not worthy of Love returning!! Now, I did not see this consciously. I love to share and help others. It’s my nature yet I am a part of a Whole Community and when I am not allowing others to bless me then I am in a sense cutting off the flow!

I am living a half truth! Leaving out the latter part of this verse,

‘Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.’

Always willing to give help yet not willing to accept help in return.

Once while leaving from a visit with a Shaman, she asked me to pull a card from the Tarot and so I did. My heart sank as I saw it was the Betrayal card. She said,’Wait, do not be discouraged, there is something here for you to see to set you free.’ And it was there. She said, ‘This is what you are being shown to ask your Divine Self, where in?your life you have betrayed yourSelf or allowed yourSelf to be betrayed?’ That question sent deep vibrations into my Heart and now, I can see the purpose of that message being given to me. As I look in review of where I have been on this Journey since then. Uncovering the roots, step by step revealing the Heart of the matter or life circumstances that have unfolded from this hidden belief.

So, my ‘prayers’ became more Childlike in asking, being more naked in the Presence of God by Inviting Divine InSight and Intervention and I find that one of the many ways the response comes is in the form of others in this world. The last place I tended to allow mySelf to receive from as being a form of answer to my prayers. Our Angels in disguise and I realize this more clearly now. How many Angels have I turned away from in my life from doing God’s Good Will? This realization now has much more of a healing feeling then a despondent one for me. I am grateful to see this as it is opening my mind to my Heart in being willing to see this in my life in ways that were once closed off to me. Closed as in my mind hooding over my?Heart for the fear of being hurt or disappointed and in putting my trust in another. Seeing Love incorrectly. Remember? I?was being a?seed of GDI’s. I say this with a bit of tender humor.?I am being freed from this now. Its roots are in distrust of God and God’s Love and goodness towards me …?and perhaps may be hiding in you too.

Another part is connecting to Divine Source to Love.

I am Being?Awakened to the Divine mysteries of a Real and Genuine Love ~

A Divine Love that is naked, honest and real, where no shame or condemnation is known or felt?~

And I also realize that when I have made an error or mistake like this one, that God does not condemn me when I do. A very Present help in trouble God Is. It takes my being willing to include this God Presence to see into my little treasure box of hidden hurts and boo boo’s that allows me to feel safe in emptying its contents out and exchange it for Heaven’s healing balm of Miracles that are daily supplied, if I am willing to being naked before the Source of All Life. No hidden guises, no hidden motives, no hidden agendas. Just me being transparent with my Heavenly Parent which then extends to all.

As I look back in moments at when I have been stark naked, open and honest and real with my God, I see the ones who ‘showed up’ as being the perfect response to my asking. In fact, better than what I could or would have imagined the response to be. Not always a person, sometimes a book, a song, a moment of wonder while being silent in Nature,?hearing an inaudible voice, many ways if I am actively aware and listening …

I have been sharing how amazing my Journey has been and must say that it only continues to be so. I am in such a state of Heartfelt gratitude for seeing this in mySelf as this sets me free to be more Real and Authentic.

Another Loving Reminder, that I have the most amazing unlimited Source of Love forever giving of ItSelf to me if I will but only include IT in my daily affairs, all of them and be naked and real in Its Presence and then remain open to Its ways of providing for me in all my ways. And this One who is UnSeen will be clearly seen in the evidence of ITs Presence in all ways, shapes and forms in my life. I am being freed to be naked and real with all others who share this life with me in Unconditional Loving Acceptance, and it begins with those closest to me right now.

I am soaking and basking in this recent revelation. May my Heart sharing set you free too. No more hiding behind masks. I Invite you to take the first step in being openly honest and naked in the Presence of an All Knowing, Everywhere Present God that sees All and Everything through the eyes of Love. And to pour your Heart out before this Loving One and be open to receive Love unlike anything you have ever experienced no matter how it shows up.

Just keep your Hands, Mind, Heart and Soul open to the totality of possiblities of Unconditional Love’s ways of sharing ITs Love with you.

Take the first two steps by Inviting the Holy Spirit to hold your hand as the verse above from ‘A Course in Miracles’ shares?and God will take the final step by removing the barriers to Loves Presence, which is right here, right now.

Many Blessings, Be Well

InJoy the idea, soak and bask in IT in naked Honesty,

Accepting that you are Loved by God no matter what may seem to be happening in your life right now?whether or not?you have made any misjudgments or errors in your thinking ~

This?is Loves Call to Remember Always ~

God Loves You ~

In the Spirit of Love,

Julia

 

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