Recovering Authenticity ~ R.S.V.P. Your Presence is Requested

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‘People travel to wonder at the height of mountains, at the huge waves of the sea, at the long courses of rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars; and they pass by themselves without wondering.’

~ St. Augustine

‘Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you.’

~ Dr. Suess

‘Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.’

~ Dr. Suess

What I am experiencing over and over again is the recovery of my authenticity … easy to talk about as in how one does, does not feel it, see it or hear it and yet in the stepping outside of all these conundrums have come to a place through all the weighing in the balance of becoming very simple and more childlike in my view of life and living in my authenticity.

This has been my blessing of living with newly born to very young innocent children for another run or my grandchildren. By observing them and inter-relating with them, I see more clearly that they do not entertain such thoughts as to what ones life purpose in Being here is for! I have also paid very close attention to them when in a momentary disagreeing mode, like when doing ‘harm’ to one another as in slapping, hitting, pushing and shoving one another. They emote in the moment and let go, it is over with and easily forgotten! Every morning they arise into a new dawn, a new beginning, a clean and blank slate… fully into their daily adventure of living …

Paying attention to them?as they share about the dreams they’ve had, they talk about the experiencing of it, the feelings, sights, sounds as a continuation of what we call waking state. They are present in both their dream state and awakening state. Life is just one experience after another for them. They don’t call them dreams until we define this for them. They say, I saw something…

Children are not waiting around for a healing to come in their natural state, they don’t know what not being well is or means. They are wellness in human expression in the fully feeling of it, all sensory bodies are engaged. unified. And in the evening they let go of the day! It’s over and done with really. They do not give such things a thought at all when very young. They just live and experience themselves in life, living in the fullness of their Being and that is that or it is what it is.

Very young children do not have second thoughts about anything I’ve noticed nor seem to question the way things are.

A wonderful example for me of living ‘I Am’.

Such wonderful examples, expressions of Love’s presence, they just InJoy the love of being themselves!

I?am able?recall getting back up and moving on with the day soon after experiencing an ouch moment, it was quickly forgotten and left behind me until the next ouch. I recall many times in my life when people said, I was a happy go lucky child. The idea of seeking to understand what transpired in my childhood years and life did not take place until after I had left home and had my own children.

My ‘meeting’ with my God face to face didn’t happen because I was intentionally ‘looking’ for a God nor was it due to being focused on an awareness of?any struggling going on within myself to find my self, self worth or in trying to make sense of what happened to me in my life from childhood and on so much really, I wasn’t aware of thinking in this way at all when I had my first experience of meeting with ‘God’~ Spirit Presence.

I was actually in a bored state and looking for something to do to pass the time.

It was an unexpected experience that was the beginning point of recovering the authenticity I experienced as a child and had subconsciously buried. Showing me through it all that I still was authentically myself by showing me the ways of how I had covered over Authentic me throughout the years, that gradual closed?my eyes to see through them in this way…

What surprised me in my ‘face to face’ meeting with God is that God wasn’t anything like the God I had heard about growing up and did not relate to me in anyway that I had seen by watching the ways that?others related about this God. I honestly didn’t recognize whom I was meeting with at first! I was humbled by the experience and wondered if the solitude I had been taken into was making me a little ‘off’, a could this really be truely happening to me. All the while I noticed my awareness was opening to IT because I was definitely experiencing a connection with a something by constantly communicating with IT.?Things were appearing and happening quite readily and rapidly. I found out I was able to have a one on one conversation with this God quite easily and that this God was responding to me.

It wasn’t until after leaving home and stepping back into a church experience of my own free will. I was spending my time around a wide variety of other people involved in Spritual pursuits and this is when the navel gazing began, introducing me into into a ‘downhill’ spiral of unworthiness and lack and a shift to look inside myself more was being wrestled with by what was going on?outside of me, my circumstances weren’t matching what I had experienced with Spirit. An easier said than done stage that would last for quite awhile.

And so my journey to ‘seek and find’ began.

Not knowing at the time that I was always myself, this?was a necessary part of my experience to bring me back?in through?full cycling into getting reacquainted with my Authentic Essential Self. The whole experience. I am able to see it this way now. There has never been a time I wasn’t I AM.

How is that Julia?

Well, in my quirky way of musing, who else was standing in my place and being me? All other’s places?have already been taken.

I just did not give rightful acknowledgement of myself in long moments … My focus was on others.

In pretending,? and by acting as though I didn’t know, I was creating a make believe thought that I needed to step outside myself to find myself … like taking a peek a boo game too seriously. How absurd!

By observing myself and the people around me, I have become aware of the tendency to keep ones in a state of ‘seek and do not find’, it’s in the idea that something is wrong with you, us and the world or seriously lacking! This can lead to placing ourselves under a microscope way of thinking, keeping us squirming under the lens, shifting our focus to fixing and not Being in an All is Well state. When I am choosing to participate in this idea, fear is being exerted in this way of thinking by the idea of being possibly excommunticated if?I were to?dare self express as?my genuine Essential Self, or if I were to live?my life as being fine the way it is.

There is a saying, if you are looking for the faults in someone, something, you will always find them …

What would happen if we decided to shift our focus more?into seeing what is right with us and our lives and not so much about what needs fixing, just imagine how different the world would be seen from our eyes!!

Loving. Safe. All is Well. Secure in our?Being without any need to even ask or consider otherwise. Hmm…

A shifting of my focus. From a distrustful to Trustful state of Being.

Are you willing to ask yourself a question and open to hear the response rising within? ‘Where am I right now? Where is my focus? Paying attention by listening to the thoughts rising within yourself, you will hear something. Is my focus on what needs fixing or lacking in me? Or am I realizing that I have not been Presently aware of myself in the place where I am in this very moment.

Am I looking for and seeing the faults in another who are being my inner thoughts mirror? The first step towards change is being willing, to be open to the shifting of my thoughts. To consider it. This willingness or being open to change?brings my attention into?me by paying closer attention to what thoughts I am feeding myself on a regular basis and allows me to look more closely at where these thoughts have come from. Not to judge them, just to be aware of them.

Why ask why? is the response I was given while in the throes of asking the why me, why this or that questions …

The knowing of an answer can take as long as I make the choice to not know it. Time is useful as a tool in allowing me to take the time necessary for myself to experience what it means to Be aware and alive in my life as my Authentic and Essential Self.

Even in the moment of realizing this?in what we would define here as a death of a person, an identity or an experience.

Waiting for a response is a way of allowing us to?uncover through the tracing to the ground, our trust issues…stretching us in our ability to trust more…

While there?may seem to be?quick answers for self gratification?they only feed my appetitite and?don’t quench?my genuine thirst and hunger, usually due to my being impatient and wanting to snack, quick?fix it. Then there are the responses that seem to take alot longer to arrive, And it is these longer to unfold responses that I find are more solid and long lasting and satisfies my hunger for the long haul. Being able to experience both ways of responses, I have grown to?trust and be patient in knowing the answer is ‘on its way’.

I liken myself to an oak tree. I am a deep and strongly rooted Being. I am naturally Self sustaining. What I ‘need’ to know in each moment is right here and I am the only one deciding to not draw upon my knowing?when asking what do I do now.?When I?am unwilling to remain open to tap into my knowing Intuition, I seek quick answers in desperation. I have grown to understand that I have?been provided with what it?takes to do everything that I am here to do. No matter what it is I am going through. I AM as You Are, of the ONE Spirit in All.

Like a child who lives in conscious awareness of itself, Being fully Pressent in the moment without giving it another thought.

Now, to ponder and question is a very beneficial part of the process of moving our Self through the experiencing of?Self. And… from all the pondering and questioning, is a digging sense of the recovery. Sifting and sorting is making evaluations based on ones experience and?honing one’s instincts, one’s ability to distinguish and discern oneself in the mix. Until it leads into the moment of realization that all the continual asking of how? how? how? and why? why? why? is a game we are playing with ourselves, we are playing the delay game with?ourself to keep our Self from this knowing of our authentic self in this moment. I am not trusting in myself enough to know what I know, that I?AM enough. It creates a yearning to seek my knowing elsewhere or in another as though I lack it since I am not feeling it inside me.

This is when I began to dig all over the place, I was?looking away from?’X’ marks the spot …

I have played this game of I don’t know ‘myself’, digging all over the place and coming back into and recovering the buried treasure from realizing that I do know my Self. Now, I don’t have to go anywhere or to anyone to ask to know, I have it in me as you do! I just know. As you know too when you open yourself to your Presence.

Knowing oneself is not arrogance, it is?living in one’s natural state, being confident in oneself and one’s abilities. Confidence is not arrogance.

Arrogance needs to exert itself by not knowing where its rightful position is. Pushing another out of its way by stepping on and over ones to feel a sense of adequacy, arrogance?reveals a dis-ease, an unrest in oneself. An underlying fear based?thought?through a need being outwardly expressed due to one feeling a deeper sense of lack in oneself. Needing someone or something else’s?attention to give validation to?support who one is. Jostling for one’s place or position because they feel they have yet to establish themself. A deep insecurity in not knowing who they are, walking on shifting sand.?Ones like this tend to force their?presence on others in pay attention to me behaviors at the same time focused on giving evidence of all their accomplishments to validate themselves as worthy to take up space.

Confidence is standing in ones place in total ease, a restful state,??one?feels no need to defend one’s rightful position. One just Lives, Being Authentically I Am. You do not have any need to let everyone know who you are with a long list of accomplishments to validate you, it’s obvious in your being yourself. You sense no lack. Confidence is experiencing oneself in being fully Present with no need to?live vicariously through others, opinions and approvals.

It’s the Energy behind the words I am speaking of here, the intention or motivation of why we do what we do.

In all honesty, I think that we keep ourselves in the?thinking mind that?there is something ‘else’ more to it when it is staring into us right smack in the face. We aren’t comfortable with the idea of anything being simple, we feel more comfortable and familiar with something having to be hard to reach for and/or attain. We tend to make things complicated, getting in our own way through believing that something?desired has to be struggled for…and this entertains the idea that it’s not really ours yet, until we have ‘earned’ the right to have it or be it. You know, the ‘I have to think really hard to figure out a way to get?this’ kind of thinking …

I have?found that?I prefer smarter not harder ways of doing things because I have experienced doing it both ways for a very long time…

Relaxing more into trusting that it comes to me and not so much wrestling with the how am I going to get this to happen way of thinking …

Are you willing to be open to the possibility that it wasn’t ever intended to be earned or hard to have it? What if it were the other way around, simple as in always having been here for us to InJoy all along, our inheritance? we came with in our arrival here, and all that?we are asked to?’do’ is open our hands, hearts and Minds to receive for ourself.?By accepting?for ourself in Being by knowing?who we are. God Being?in human form. It’s like going on an everything paid in advance trip … no need to pack anything just bring yourself … everything is provided for you to live your life, contained in you. How?simple is that?

All you?are asked?to do to receive this is show up for this. Attend to your life by consciously living it!

Your Place is all ready, It’s all been prepared, Your Presence is requested … Love, your Higher Self

Sounds dreamy doesn’t it? Instead, off we go seeking for something that we never lost in the first place!

Because we secretly don’t really believe this is possible to live in this way! We believe we don’t deserve it!

And we wonder why our life can seem so out of sorts, especially if this idea of being unworthy is being empowered in Unity by so many others having the same thought!

Underneath all these thoughts is a very subtle yet powerfully influencing idea… growing in its power and persuasiveness to sway us, shifting us away in our thinking.

This can’t be right, it’s illogical! Just look at what everyone else is doing! No one else seems to be living this way or thinking this way or doing it this way! Baaa ~

We put more power into the belief that we can’t really have this Power or ability! And perhaps it is only because of this ingrained idea?that ‘you must work hard for it or else you cannot have things’ is heavily influenced and has subtlely shifted our perception of ourselves away from?the original idea of not having to think about it at all,??living?the way children naturally do. In Trust of their good. ?We?have moved more towards the having to ‘think about’ what we are doing, going to have to do, and what we are to be. Always future never present. We are programmed to think we must?be like everyone else, or it that something has to be done a certain way or else … Perhaps implying that it is unacceptable or inconceivable to even dare to just be yourself, free standing on ones own and away from the crowds. Could this be a secretly harbored fear that if?I don’t conform and think this way, I?will be thought of as arrogant, lazy or heretic and not so much confident in my abilities to be Self sustaining by what brings me Joy? Authentic and at ease.?

Hmm… just musing out loud here…

We all share in having asked the commonly known question, what is our true purpose or reason for being here. This question can keep us looking for the meaning of our life, outside of ourself.Observing this question based on an I don’t know perception, just kept me in a perpetual circle of having to ask more questions. I can see the benefit of my received response to this question again with the response to this question of…

‘Why ask why?

Why not just Being Joyfully alive, fully present in my life and trusting that all is known in the moment as it is unfolding before my eyes. Joyfully participating in my life as it unfolds. Asking how and why continuously over and over again is what the donkey and carrot routine became?for me. An underlying idea that my response was not within my reach or it always seemed like it was coming over the next mountain… a mountain created by my own thoughts that can be removed. From?this perspective?of?paying attention when?my?constant questioning of everything rose up, I was able to see what I was doing to myself.?I was keeping myself in an?I’ll know someday?but it isn’t nor?ever will be?known today. If I?was able to?do it that way then why?would I not be able to do it the ‘other’?way? I realized I?am able through the changing of my programming of re-occuring thoughts.

I came to the place of being?so ready for a change of view, a shifting in my perception …

I was willing and open and ready to know now… what it was I already know…

Right Now… no more waiting for later, no more waiting for someday…

My whole entire life has been worth coming into this current knowing. My perception has shifted, it’s changed! I am InJoying Life in this very moment, I am in my rightful place, authentically, now, and I am able to trust that this is all it will always be in each and every moment in my awareness of myself remaining fully present from this moment on. I notice the difference in living this way from the way I once did.

The Joy of Being Alive in my life.

Through the gradual and continual practicing of shifting my perception through the years. Is this all there is to it? I say Yes. This is all about my perception of where I am now and this allows me to remain open to Life without the need to limit it by how it ‘has to be’ a certain way to be able to live in my Joyful and Peaceful state. Just decide to choose to live your life and feel your Self. Live it as it unfolds in each moment …

the gift of presence… yours and mine ~

I share this as a loving reminder for us all that we do indeed know what to do in every moment and that everything arrives in Divine Time~ Space~ Sequential~ Order. Through the living process, each experience holds for us to recover our rightful deed of our rightfully worthy Being. Our Presence is Being requested …our place awaits already prepared for us?once we?realize that we are in our place?as we bring ourself back into this very?moment?of being aware of where we are.

I stopped questioning so much the ‘how’ will I know when the ‘answer’ comes or how long will it take to come anymore, because I have come to a place of understanding through the daily practicing of?paying attention to?the Divine Time~Space~Sequential~Order of things. Sometimes I have missed it the first time around when it?arrived?because the answer wasn’t the way?I was thinking it should be. I limited the many ways it could be.

And I missed it due to being impatient and trying to find the answer somewhere else. Quick fixes due to Unbelief…

I have been able to shift more easily into the ‘It is All God working for and with our Highest Good’s intention’ throughout the years … You won’t lose what you cannot ever lose, it just seems this way sometimes…it might look ‘different’ yet it is the same answer to the same question…underneath the guises of seeming differences~

No one else can claim what belongs to you by right, your name is engraved on it…

Like playing a hide and go seek game with yourself and taking it too seriously and ‘forgetting’ where your home is

I decided to take it easy on myself as I continue to recover more of my expanding trust in my now in this place of knowing Being,

It is All God … behind all the forms, masks, circumstances and things…I see that there is no thing that God does not have a part in…Being Present in all ways, always~ Spirit is everywhere Present ~

In imagining all that we desire to experience ourselves being, may we imagine ourselves being like a strong tree, unshaken by the seeming storms that blow through our lives momentarily and even if the winds are blowing in gale force velocity may we remain pliable by bending and swaying with it knowing in trust that all the while our roots are solid and holding steady, the storms pass on and we realize yet again, we are the stronger for it by going through it. Our Authentic Self standing in Its place, alive and well in Its Being.

Pliable and Immovable in the same moment, remaining solid like an oak tree.

So, I ask you, will you allow yourself to be open, to be still for just a moment and consider where, if not right here right now, where you are in your life in this moment? Are you here now?

Are you living in your authenticity?

Who seems to be taking your place while you wait for yourself to show up for yourself, as all others spots are already taken …

I trust you feel Love’s intention here is to Inpower and Incourage you as I have been, not that you need it …

Just a loving reminder that you already have everything you could ever imagine yourself to be within. You were born with it

It’s yours by BirthRight. It was?intended for you to Be you or you wouldn’t be you now would you? ~

I celebrate your Authentic Recovery of your Essential Self?~ the Coming into of your present BirhtRight

Your InHeritance~

InJoy this day Being You, present in your life, your only purpose in this moment …

You ~You are your reason for Being here now~

May you InJoy Living,Being, fully Alive in your Presence ~

Many Blessings, Be Well

Julia

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This entry was posted on 202135H Jun 2009 and is filed under Recovering Authenticity ~ R.S.V.P. Your Presence is Req. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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