Birth of the Spirit Child, Ego & Soul Re~Union
“What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us.” ~ Emerson
“Intellectual Knowledge is the footstool to experiencing a Higher Intelligence.” ~ Julia
I left 2008 behind by suddenly being swept up. The door closing with a firm and final slam. Like an adolescent running away from home. I had had a second adolescent experience and now it was time to return to my Homeland.
Stepping outside and into the air blowing straight into my face I walk towards the open road.
I follow the Voice that has been growing louder, calling for me to take ahold of the hand already reaching for mine. I had no hesitation this time, experiencing a just as I am in this moment of leaving, I held onto this Unseen hand.
The first sensation I noticed, was the lifting of a heaviness from my Being, my senses so alive and aware. Another change was occuring. Moving deeper into all the layers of me; releasing even deeper, freedom rising through all the layers as once forgotten memories passed on through me, I Mindfully observing as they flowed into a powerful blazing fire. I was then beckoned to move my Self into this powerful fire also. I was leaving it all behind. Everything. I was saying a final goodbye.
I chose to walk away from all ideals of social responsibilities. The culmination of a long chapter in my life.
I made my choice this time based on paying attention to my Inner Guide within with whom my relationship had been growing in?deeper connection with throughout the previous years and by observing my past and most recent choices and now Being aware of what I had gained through these experiences.
I knew I was making the right choice for me.
I was ready and fear was no where present. Everything within me was agreeing as I stepped into the fire.
For awhile now, my life seemed to be suspended in motion, like a page in midturning … I’d been experiencing a deep desire to leave behind all that had been familiar and head into the unknown, I was no longer concerned with the come what may … I only knew that I no longer chose to go back to what I once was.
Now or never and I chose now.
The seed opens to the newness of it’s life being released.
In leaving 2008, I left behind a culmination of a nine year cycle leading me into the year of?one, of new beginnings …
Late last fall, I found a box left on my front porch. In opening it, I discovered it contained items that had at one time been left behind at my mother’s house and forgotten about when I left home at age 19. Most of what was in this box held no value or use for me now. There was what looked like a letter folded in half, showing signs of yellowing and blue marker ink slightly bleeding through and in first glancing at it I saw it was something I had written over 30 years ago in the latter days of my first adolescence. It intrigued me and I put it to the side to be read later when the time was right.
The holidays being past and now winter fully present outside my door, I find the moment to look at what I had written and forgotten. A very unusual and hard to describe feeling came over me as I read my thoughts. I asked myself, ‘I wrote this as a teenager’?! ? Wow! I didn’t remember exactly when I wrote this yet I recognized my handwriting placing me at or around 17 or 18 years of age.
In sixth grade I was re-named by my classmates because they thought my name sounded too old for me! So, they began calling me Julie and I went by this for many years until I grew more comfortable Being Julia. This is what I read that I had written:
The Quiet Moments
As I sit alone in contented thought
I watch as the sun’s last golden amber
outstretched rays fade quickly in the dusk.
I look to see my friend the moon’s familiar
face bathing me in the harmonious twilight.
I sadly sigh as the night always reminds me
that another day has ended.
I wonder sometimes where time goes,
always moving, never having time to
standstill and catch its breath.
Tilting my head towards the stars
and feeling the wind playfully
pushing itself around my hair
tells me it’s time to return.
I catch my breath at the moon’s reflection
in the smooth mirror flowing by my feet.
As I make my way home, I turn and with my Inner Soul,
I reach out into the vast dark blanket
and thank the Lord above for all these things
but I will always thank him most for letting us
have our quiet moments.
Moving along from this place and time in my life, I have changed my mind in so many ways?about God, myself, life and other things and reading this was a wonderful timely reminder revealing that I had been far more perceptive and in tuned at this tender age in late adolescence than I had once remembered.
Finding this poem after a 30 year passage opened my eyes to see through the culmination of my life experiences and has yielded to me a deeper understanding, allowing me to see that my ego self had been gaining much information through its intellectual education of experiencing this world and how in moments of quiet deep reflection like this I am able to catch in glimpses that my soul has been present also. World savvy, UnWorldly savvy blending together. Heaven and Earth together Unified in?One Being.
My ego had been openly communing with my soul. My soul had been openly communing with my ego.
Somewhere along the way, a disagreement insued and a wall to communication was built. Doors slam shut. Disconnection.
It’s not always the major events of our lives that gives clarity, deepening our understanding of our connection with our Divine Higher Power within us. Self Knowledge transforming into Self Being Knowing as I can see in the reading ofthis poem, returning to me after all these years. Now united in purpose, allowing space to Be, Self Knowing and Self Knowledge exist together as one and move as one and the same. Having spent so much energy on?fighting?with this ego and soul wrestling match, I came to realize through a conversation with a beloved friend, that it is this constant trying to separate the ego from the soul that continually keeps us separated within ourselves and in a continual search for something or someone outside our Self to fix it and not in allowing it to just Be One with Itself.
Learning to embrace my ego and receive it by welcoming it back into myself and thanking it for its beneficial experience being so much a part of leading to my Higher Knowing of my Self by bringing it all home together in one place.
I made peace within myself. Embracing all of myself, no longer separating by disagreeing. An agreement was made. Agreeing to live peacefully together.
Re-Union was made and I deeply sensed IT.
This conversation with my friend took place before the re-reading of this poem and I see Divine Order appearing and flowing naturally in and through my life. My trust has deepened into Being, I AM?Trustworthy, and my life has always unfolded into?my Highest Good in the moment and I rest in knowing that all is well in my Universe that I create in each moment.
My rememberance was deeply jogged by this having this memory, reminding me?that my connection?with my I Am Self has always been a constant and opened to me.
I walk confidently and am fully able to experience my life from this foundation. My Life is secured and in the right place. In me. I look forward to the new experiences entering my life right now. Spirit is Being Divinely Breathed?and permeates?my skin. The result of this Re~Union. My I Am Childlike Spirit Being Self contained in all my ways.
I have been given all the Love, Guidance and provisionary care?of my Divine Parent united in me, Being?One in purpose for?My Highest Good.
I see this with open eyes now.
I am now entering a new cycle with Renewed Energy, Lightness of Being and Life Breath. New heights to explore, new horizons to move towards and beyond. InJoying Being in each moment of my life is my focus this year.
I am deeply grateful for all the ones who walked with me and supported me throughout my Journey this far, and I am grateful for everyone and everything that is leading to my Being in this place now.
This place of Being~I Am Self, forever a living Loving thought contained in the Eternal Mind of All minds.
I only asked for one thing this year and I released it to the Universe.
That Love’s Radiant Living Presence in?I Am Being me,?touch all I meet on my path this year.
Many Blessings and Be Well,
Love and Injoy this day Spirit Child in the Oneness of your Being,
To new beginnings,
Copyright ? 2011 You-Nique-By-Design.com