You Nique By Design

“Emotions are a measure, indicators of how we are perceiving an experience.” — Julia Lisa

 

“This too shall pass.” — Advisors to King Solomon

 

A benefit of growing up and maturing more into my second half of life experience is by simply being aware of how I viewed and handled my emotions up to this point in my life. I’ve changed my mind about a lot of things and how I perceive them from how I once did.

Emotions can encompass a wide range of feelings and sensations, anywhere from peaceful and mild to strongly overpowering and at times debilitating. Have you ever felt the effects of being on an emotional roller coaster ride which seem to come upon you when circumstances appeared to be beyond your control leaving you exhausted in its aftermath?

Are you able to remain steadily calm, strong hearted, remaining in the Center of Peaceful Silence during the storms and upheavals that come our way in life?

Remember being asked to draw a line down the center of a page and then being asked to separate out under the two given labels of good and/or bad feelings or pro’s and con’s and so forth? Are these the only two types of emotions?, or is there a balance, also known as a happy medium an in between? What are emotions for, why do we have them and what do we do with them when we are experiencing the ones that do not feel as ‘good‘ as the ‘bad‘ ones?

A wise friend once shared with me about getting too emotionally caught up (off balance) especially in the area of relationships,

“Don’t get too high on the highs and don’t get too low on the lows.” Stay in middle, (the center) and just go with it, the ups and downs, just ride them like a wave. “

— Rick Irons (Surf Pro)

Excellent advice. While this thought has always stayed with me, I’ve been reminded of this wise advice by having an inflow of experiences that have allowed me to understand by practicing this on ever evolving levels. My friend wasn’t saying to not have emotions, just not to allow myself to be ruled by them by getting stuck in them.

“In the Center you Master the Flow.” Find and get into the Rhythm of Life Flow.

Sounds wonderful doesn’t it? I just wasn’t there at that stage in my life. I was in my early twenties, and definitely ruled by getting stuck in my emotions. I wasn’t aware enough to know how to manage them, they just ’seemed’ to happen at a moment’s notice. It is a time in life when most of us are much more concerned with fitting in and being accepted by others, trying to please others, being too unsure of oneself and intimidated to rock the boat by being one’s Authentic Self.

I realize it is because I didn’t know who my Authentic Self was at the time. This doesn’t always appear as one’s conscious choosing.

Until I became aware that my emotional reactions were possibly based on a conditioned response, I would be given another repeat lesson (opportunity) to learn how to balance my emotions and be free from being tossed to and fro in an overwhelming sea of emotions. I’ve become aware of the value of re-tracing the repeated emotional reactionary or response patterns back to where they originated from. The ones that are subconsciously absorbed and ingrained by the emotional environment of one’s upbringing and until I understood this I would continue to repeat them and reinforce them.

This is an ongoing work in progress that can only be done within each of ourselves. It took awhile until I began to realize that I’m the only one who can allow by my own choosing the emotional reactions or responses I am having within myself and no one else can own that for me.

No one else can embody me by feeling my Inner feelings.

Whenever you have been present with someone going through a ‘trying’ and emotional circumstance, while you may be able to empathize your feeling with them you cannot feel (identify) what they are feeling by having their emotions for them. You can sense what they are feeling by receiving the energy of their emotions.

Empathizing without Embodying another’s emotions.

I’ve shared about the cycles in Nature. This has been very helpful for me in understanding how to ride the waves or rhythms of my life and emotions. Learning that each cycle comes round again. Another opportunity to gain higher ground in evolving in my Spiritual growth. Not trying to go out of sync by resisting them but allowing them to take their natural course by cycling through. Synchronizing with the cycles.

In light of all the discussions on positive and negative emotions, I’ve noticed the tendency to label positive as ‘good’ and negative as ‘bad’. Remove the labels and they are what they are. Emotions. They are indicators of where one is positionally from a Centered Calm. Emotions are neither good nor bad. I find that when I label something I resist it by not letting it go through its full measure by just being with it. It’s when its been allowed its full expression that it can play itself out.

It’s over, it’s finished. It’s run its course.

Yes, I have definitely spent a lot of energy working on having feel ‘good’ emotions all the time, especially if I am experiencing feeling ‘not so good’ emotions however, I noticed it would work only for awhile. Then something would come up and here I was swinging like an emotional pendulum once again, sometimes feeling it stronger than before. These emotions kept coming back because instead of just letting the emotion rise up and go, I kept suppressing the ‘not so good’ ones or trying to cover or change it with a peanut butter smear of get to ‘feel good’ thoughts. Why? Because I didn’t like the way I was feeling and I wanted to feel another way. I wanted to get away from it because I kept focusing on wanting to change it.

I kept running away from ‘feeling bad’ or negative emotion. When I was ‘feeling good’ I didn’t want it to end. This is also a sign of a lack mentality. ‘I won’t ever feel this happy again mentality.’ I looked at negative as a bad thing to be avoided and positive as a good thing to run towards and cling to. This is due to a conditioned labeling of emotional reactions or responses.

We all grow up by observing and subconsciously absorbing what is in our environment whether home and or societal influences and we notice that certain things are viewed as a standard of good or bad. Anger, depression, hurt, pain, sadness and grief are labeled as negative, bad or darker emotions. Happiness, joy, elation, upbeat is labeled as good, positive or lighter emotions. They are contrasts. How do we define joy if we have not experienced pain or sadness? They are indicators of where we are from our Center. That’s all they are,

Emotions are indicators of how I am measuring in degrees an experience. How I am perceiving what is happening and how am I defining what is happening to me. How do I get back into and remain in the Center? Your experience is showing you how.

By Asking our Higher Self, the Divine Spirit within us to show us how in being aware of what our Higher Self is showing us. The answer for me is usually given by an opportunity to learn, to find the balance by practicing in the present moment situation, becoming aware of the differences that lead me back to balanced Center. My lessons tend to repeat themselves until I am able to receive what I have asked for. I Ask, “What is this emotion showing me, what is it based on? What is the source of this emotion?”

I also ask for another way to see the situation, person or thing through the eyes of truth and not judgment.

I stumbled over emotions a lot especially in my earlier formative years and still do trip up at times. Only now, I am much more aware of my emotional cycles and learning to let them be by acknowledging them, and not making such a big deal out of them, or trying to change them by fixing them or struggling with them. That saps my energy more when I wrestle with them. Emotions do change and are only passing through in the flow of Life experiencing.

Energy flows naturally if left unblocked and not resisted. Go with it. Don’t be afraid of your feelings by resisting them.

Having our emotions is very much apart of our Spiritual Life experience here. I believe it has to do with accepting our Authentic Self and being okay with who we are and where we are in this moment. We spend so much of our earlier years stuffing our emotions down for fear of being rejected and not loved for having these feelings. We don’t seem to know what to do with our feelings. We also have these emotional roller coaster rides when we take our eyes off of our Authentic Self and aren’t at peace within ourselves and while we are with others. “If they only knew what I was feeling they would get angry, reject me, not love me or accept me.”

Unconscious (subconscious) beliefs lurking in the depths. Raise them up, let them out, release them. Your Authentic Self will have room or a vacuum to fill with new thoughts. The old thoughts have been allowed to surface. Look at them, acknowledge them and let them go. Like putting little notes in a bottle and sending them out to sea.

I am much more comfortable with myself now and allow myself to just be. I am with my sadness or down moments when they pass through and ask the questions if necessary. I go about my day in attuned waiting, and I stay in listening mode. The answer comes when I am willing to accept where I am in the moment. I am with the joyful, happy moments and allow myself to be with it and can let them pass through. I am not being ruled by being overcome with emotions as much and I am finding the Silent Center where peace resides more and more. This is because I am learning to love myself no matter what, happy, sad, joyful, mad and peaceful and anything else that flows my way. In being allowed to be in practice of this for many years, I notice that it has been bringing me to an understanding that the more I accept myself, all of myself I am more able to accept others as well.

Being in the Center doesn’t mean you turn into a robot. As a wise friend shared with me, “We are not robots.” We can be our Authentic Selves in our relationships with others when we remain in present moment and allow ourselves to express without our emotions spewing out all over the place by constant suppression and build up. You will find that while you may emote anger or hurt, it can be said in Love because it is being addressed as it comes up. Not after stewing for perhaps years. There is a balance in your energy.

Truth can be spoken in a calm state while getting your point across. It’s okay to say to another, “I am angry or hurt or happy by your statement. I felt misunderstood when you said this.” That is not disrespecting another’s emotions nor yours. This will change the way you relate with others because you are not holding past emotions under, ready to explode when one pushes the left unaddressed emotional button. The button will have already been diffused by releasing the source of the emotion if you have allowed Divine Spirit to show you how and where it originated from and set it free.

I’ve given my share of crying on friends shoulders and received theirs. In these moments we can put our arms around one another and just be with one another. It is okay to have days when we feel weak and need a friend to hold our hand while all we can do is cry. Our day comes to be strong for another when they are going through their own emotional cycles. This is life sharing life with another. Nature shows us this through the cycle of seasons. We can trust in the process which is always moving us forward. It grows us into deeper, richer, Spiritually evolving Beings. The sun rises but it also sets. And it comes round again every new day. We do not have to fear it. Love encompasses All.

Emotions are Divinely given and serve a wonderful purpose in our life experiences. It connects us with one another. We all share the same emotions just at different times.

I encourage you to Ask to be shown where you may have emotional wounds that need to be released and brought into the healing Light of Love. I encourage you to Ask to receive your Emotional Healing and to be able to express your Authentic Self, knowing that you are Loved without conditions. Your Whole Authentic Self.

Many Blessings, Be Well and InJoy Being your Wonderful Authentic Self,

All is Well,

Julia