You Nique By Design

 

“As we let our own Light shine, we unconcsiously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our Presence automatically liberates others.”

~ A Year of Daily Wisdom Calendar by Marianne Williamson

 

“If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.”

~ Mark Twain

 

“If most of us remain ignorant of ourselves, it is because self-knowledge is painful and we prefer the pleasures of illusion.”

~ Aldous Huxley

 

“The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.”

~ Ambrose Pierce

 

“The cruelest lies are often told in silence.” ~ Adlai Stevenson

 

“We tell lies when we are afraid … afraid of what we don’t know, afraid of what others think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing we fear grows stronger.”

~ Tad Williams

 

“Pretty much all the honest truth telling in the world is done by children.”

~ Oliver Wendell

 

“Truth fears no questions.” ~ Unknown

 

Children are adept at being real, they are tuned into themself and relate by sensing Energy. I had the opportunity to be even more aware of this the other day while in detached mode I observed something that was happening with my grandson Elijah, who is all of the tender age of five. I happened to be the one home whom answered the door when his dad was bringing him back from his overnight. I immediately could sense something was off as they walked in and I noticed his and his dad’s energy.

As they came inside, I asked Elijah if he had had fun with his dad. He said it was good without enthusiasm and no more. While he smiled at me, he was ‘acting’ uncomfortable and it showed in his body language, he left the room as soon as he came in leaving me alone with his dad. I then looked at his dad whose demeanor was by now a growing anger and irritation, arms hanging in a defeated manner, so I asked him if everything was alright.

Not looking me in the eye, head and eyes down and boring a hole in the floor, he said yeah and then he left. As soon as he left, Elijah comes to me and stands next to me silently expressing that he wanted to talk to me about something. So, I asked him again if he had had a fun time with his dad .

He looked out the window as he shared with me that he had decided that he did not want to go the movies with his dad that day. Aaah! Bingo. Guilt. And he looked into my eyes searching for assurance of his being loved and accepted. While I do not know what his dad said to him, I sensed a deep feeling of guilt in this young child’s demeanor and I said, Elijah, you made a decision that felt right for you in the moment and it is okay to be honest and make your own decisions. It’s okay to feel what you feel. Your decisions are what make you Elijah and you know what? What, he asked, I love you Elijah just the way you are.

He played for awhile being close to me as though he were being balmed, soaking in my Love Energy of peaceful acceptance of him. And then he showed me his new car that his dad was letting him play with while telling me all about it and went off happily to play.

His dad has behaved this way before with Elijah when he did not want to ride his bike down a steep hill. His dad immediately packed him up and brought him home and proceeded to lecture him in front of us. He left while Elijah cried uncontrollably for awhile. His dad gets easily angered when others do not go along with his way of thinking or doing things.

I have grown to trust in my sensings and what was happening here was that Elijah’s dad was not able to come clean and be honest with himself, his son or me in this case. Something in him did not feel comfortble enough in himself to admit what he was feeling nor was he willing to discuss it. Honesty wasn’t being expressed here and I saw that his dishonesty about his own feelings was what he was not allowing Elijah to express by cutting him off with his angry and irritated countenance. Elijah’s dad knows that I am one to InCourage one to take full responsibility for owning your own behavior and he wasn’t feeling this way at the moment. He still tends to believe that others are responsible for affecting his happiness, by his emotional outbursts and reactions to those whom do not comply with him.

Later that day, my daughter received a message in her voicemail from Elijah’s dad who poured out his anger and frustration onto her, angrily telling her how it was Elijah’s fault for upsetting him, because of changing his mind about going to the movies with himself, his brother and nephew ‘making him’ look bad to his family and feeling humiliated by his son’s behavior.

Now, I wish to say here, that I am not sharing this to bash on Elijah’s dad. I am sharing something from my own daily living as an example of what we all experience or have experienced in the allowing and doing of this with others. I am sharing how I have noticed moving into a place on how to see the picture playing out in front of me from another view while still being Energy sensate and how I am much more able to stay in my Peaceful place. This has allowed me to be alot more understanding of what I am sensing is the under the skin causes going on, without getting sucked into the emotions that may be unfolding before my eyes. I find that I can better respond in moments by not getting offended due to remaing unemotional, instead of knee jerk reacting in defense and arguments.

My daughter was very agitated at Elijah’s dad’s message and for trying to manipulate their son with guilt and anger. When he has brought Elijah home in this mindset, he is left with this residual Energy and she and our household must deal with his tantrums that arise from having experienced this. His mother then tries to remain calm on the outside while she is really seething inside. And Elijah gets very restless, and out of sorts from his usual gentle loving nature. He can sense her underlying emotions.

Step back. Pull your Self in and don’t allow your Self to get sucked into the emotions of another. See through them. Is this true about me or them? What is this revealing here? If I had allowed myself to get drawn into the emotional drama being played out in front of me, then yes, it is about me and something is being shown to me about me. I am taking the bait based on my own inner fears and discomforts.

Am I relating in my response to something that happened to me like this in my past  Or have I let go of my past now able to relate from this present place of remaining Peaceful by not getting snared up into it.  I could have chosen from an emotional state to console my grandson by feeding into his dad’s and his feelings of uncertainty and victimization by saying things like, Elijah, I am very upset that your dad is treating you this way and so on.

What benefit would reacting this way have done for Elijah, his dad, myself or anyone for that matter. All this would have done is reinforce a wedge between my grandson and his dad and all involved.

Does this mean I have to accept or be affected by the behavior? Not at all. I notice that when I remain in my Peace, I can understand more of what is really going on behind the guise of emotions and see it for what it is. I can allow another to be in their feelings without making them mine.

This allows me the choice to make it small and not a big deal. I keep my Power contained. I said to my grandson that his feelings were important and that it was okay to feel the way he does and that it was okay to not feel the same way as his dad does.

Disagreeing with another does not have to mean not Loving them.

Planting a seed in Elijah, that he is big Hearted enough to Love and accept himself and his own feelings and making room to allow his dad to be the way he is and feel the way he chooses to.

Allowing Love to expand in understanding and not shrink from misunderstanding.

By not take another’s emotions on … just see it for what it is … and let it go ~

In another conversation, one of many I have shared with my grandson, he sought me out once again after another visit with his dad, for reassurance of is it really okay to be Elijah by doing what he did. I said to him, you know Elijah, we are all children in our Hearts even grown ups, and ’sometimes grown ups act more childish than children do’. Just a place in each one of us that has yet to grow up.

This was the Voice of Wisdom whispered in my ear years ago by another five year aged boy I knew speaking about his dad, before Elijah ever arrived, and I’ve never forgotten it.

Later that evening, once Elijah was in bed, his mother was venting her frustrations about this to me and her partner about how she felt so angry with his dad for manipulating Elijah like this with his angry guilt trips. His dad has also been ‘working’ on him to come and live with him making derogatory remarks about Elijah’s mother and after such episodes like this, my daughter was feeling more resolved to keep this from happening. Resisting and fighting against him. She was feeling to stop the visits because she did not want Elijah to be influenced by an angry dad.

I shared with her that in these very kinds of circumstances, the gift revealed to me was to Let go of wanting to control others, by seeing how much we cannot control anothers behavior. Let go. How mom? By focusing more on your Loving relationship with your son. Spend the one on one with him that he is asking for. Take a moment truly. Focus on creating a Loving Home environment, yours with your children. To react to Elijah’s dad is to feed his emotions. Don’t take the bait, rise above it. Elijah is able to see these things for himself and choose what Love Is for him. Allow him to choose whether or not he wants to see his dad.

There is no substitute for Love. Children know what Love is, they feel it. And we are all Children at Heart and recognize when we are in the Presence of Love.

No Fearful emotions ~ Peacefulness is felt.

We have become very good at hiding and running away from Love. Children are Love Notes from God reminding us to be Home now.

Our Home established in Love.

I shared with my daughter from my own experience of unlearning to be in control and how I found that it really takes removing your Self from the emotions before responding to another, especially with our children. So often, like my daughter exampled in this situation, we keep a cool front while we inwardly seethe. Children usually have not fully developed their language skills to be able to express in words how they feel. They don’t have a word yet to match what they are feeling. They just feel what they are experiencing and we see this very clearly. When they are happy, sad, upset, excited, it’s obvious. Feel it fully and let go. Next. This is because they are Home with who they are. They relate from their Heart. And no matter how calm a front may seem to be, children pick up on the under the skin Energy of emotions.

We have all heard children openly asking questions and sharing what they see that sometimes embarass their parents or another adult in moments! They are not intending any harm, they are being Honest, a this is what I see what is in this moment.

A calling it out as they see it.

They share their gifts openly unwrapped.

As I have moved through in my Journey, I have honed my ability to discern more and more by paying attention to my own Energy, where my sharing is coming from and sensing whether or not it is useful or beneficial to the hearer as well as for myself.

What is your Heart Intention when sharing honestly? To extend Love or fear? To bless and benefit the hearer to grow with you in experiencing more Love or from a harmful intention to get back at someone because you allowed their words to be hurtful to you, constricting Love by retreating away from Love?

Are you open to hearing Love? Will what you say change anything? You will know by understanding your own behavior first, and then another’s will become more understandable from observing your own responses and reactions. Do you stop certain behaviors when being asked to stop? Or do you ignore another’s request to stop with the need to explain why your way is right, or because you need to have your way or say with them to feel secure? Being right is more important that being happy and peaceful. Realization is a place we come to after kicking against the goads long enough and we can see that we are not getting a different response.

Peace comes from ceasing all attempts to change anyone else’s beliefs and their minds. When you are comfortable being naked under your skin, you won’t feel a need to be validated or approved of by any other. You are already fully approved in acceptance of your Self. This happens when our focus shifts from others directing and affecting our lives to focusing inside, being guided by our Essential Self.

Only you can think your own thoughts for you, no one else can do this for you and Peace is in living from this understanding. Watch what happens when you stop your arguing and convincing another about anything. Just be Honest by Being your Self, no guises, masks, underlying intentions. And let it be what it is. Share from your Heart and Let go. You will notice when others are arguing for the sake of ‘needing to be right and you can choose to allow them be anything they choose to think in their own minds.

You’ve nothing to prove to anyone.

Young children are this way.

Tend to the care of your own thoughts and actions and allow another to tend to theirs.

Carrying your Self and your own stuff and allowing another to do the same.

Abiding in Peaceful Energy is when we are Home, the searching is over. Time to relax and be naked at Home and do Homey things. You have journeyed back and are beyond the ‘need’ to go looking for these things or people to fulfill you. Life doesn’t have to be a certain way in order to InJoy Peace. My way or else thinking is believing that what seems right for me, must be right for you, in order for me to feel Loved and approved by you, and I will not experience Loves Peace until you do.

When I use to live like I believed this, my Love, Peace and Happiness were outside based and dependent upon other people, places, and things. I was still of the believing mind, re-occuring thinking that it was up to others to change for me in order for me to be happy in my life. A my way or the highway mentality like this limits us. We get stuck. Are you reinforcing the I cannot change mentality, I am the way I am and that is that? In essence reinforcing this idea of you must change for me, because I will not change for my Self.

We are each and everyone free to choose in every moment. And we have the option to change our choices, our minds, about ourselves and how we see everything in our life in any moment.

You are choosing right now to believe what you believe yes? Or are you allowing someone else to make up your mind and make your decisions for you by what you don’t say? Why do we believe we cannot change? Fear? Hmm …

Life is alive and not stagnant, life is forever offering more opportunities for each one …

Do you feel alive? Or just surviving?

Find what allows you to experience feeling Alive, experience Loving your Life, know what gifts you with Peace within your Self.  What brings you into a state of contentment?

I InEncourage you to ask your Self, Is the way and what you are currently thinking giving you Peace right now? Do you Love your Life right now? If not, you are still focused on seeing what is ‘true’ about you based from others eyes and opinions, still not Home yet, while the Lights are always on.

Turn around and head Home.

From ~I want to be Love Energy, a Light of Loves Presence in my world.

To experiencing ~I am Love Energy Alive, I radiate the Light of Loves Presence in my world.

You are this Light of Loves Living Presence when you stop the searching and reaching for it outside of yourself and are now aware of Being right in the middle of IT. You have reached it by being presently aware of yourself within your skin.

You are In You. Know yourSelf and All will be known.

Am I willing, open to considering, that there could possibly be another choice in the way I see my Self?

Love is calling you to Be Home. Make Peace within Your Self.

A Loving reminder that You are God’s dwelling place in your world.

Home is where your Heart’s Soul rests, ITs where Love dwells and Love is who you are.

Many Blessings and Be Well,

Home fires burning and glowing in you, Radiating the Light of Loves Presence,

Be Reconciled by the Renewing of Your Mind today,

InJoy Living Life Fulfilled,

Feeling Comfortably Naked under your skin in Loves Abiding Peaceful Presence ~

Julia