GOD is Faithful ~
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
~ Jeremiah 29:11
‘Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass.’
~ 1 Thessalonians 5:24
It just takes time to understand things while our lives are being lived out.
My life has been an experience of ambiguity, which I can only describe as being a path littered with sorrows of mistakes I have made, that have been turned into Joy. So, for the next few blogs or so, I felt it was time to share a bit more about my wayward path that led to my returning to Christ last year. It makes so much more sense to me now and I am so grateful that He Who called me is faithful, even when I’m not.
At age 19, as a newborn babe in Christ, life was very, very simple for me.
Walking in my new found relationship with Jesus was pure joy and I awoke every morning looking forward to enjoying the ever growing intimacy I was experiencing with Him day by day. He was teaching me about things of a spiritual nature, as I lived in a very remote part of the Hawaiian Islands at this time, as a young mother and wife, and the church we had become a part of had members that lived farther away in town, to where fellowship was possible only once or twice a week.
Without even being aware, there were tiny little things so subtle to my young and immature spirit that I simply did not recognize, which eventually would lead to my disillusionment with Jesus and the church, with my ending up in the place where I ran far, far away from Him telling Him I never wanted to speak to Him or hear from Him again. This came to pass, after about sixteen years of being a practicing Christian.
I was born into a family who professed a Christian faith. This really didn’t mean much to me, as it wasn’t spoken about much in every day living. Only on special occasions and whenever my dad’s mother would come to visit did the subject arise. Whenever my grandmother would stay with us, which wasn’t very often, our whole lives were disrupted by having to behave quite differently from the way we lived when she wasn’t there.
I didn’t understand this and said something about this on one such visit, and was quickly taken to task to keep my mouth shut. We weren’t allowed to watch tv, or listen to music or to even play cards! We were expected to come and sit down after being in school all day and read the Bible.
‘There is a way which seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death.’
Down the road of my life journey, I turned towards liking the carefree liberal lifestyle of the flower children, as it was less confining and I found a what I called a sense of peace from being constantly criticized by those who professed to love GOD. I would understand much later on in life that it was a way to appease my conscience, and not a true peace. I would find true peace after many years later.
I became a hairstylist the same year I graduated from High School and took up running with a much older crowd. I had my friends from High School, and friends from the salon I worked in.
The older crowd led me into deeper drug use and one day, while on a rare five minute break from clients, I was in the midst of a conversation with the woman who did our towels and drinking a cup of coffee, when the next moment I opened my eyes and I was on a stretcher being wheeled into an ambulance. The next thing I remember, was sitting in a hospital room, and a nurse came in to tell me that the Doctor would be right in.
When they brought me in, they had run some tests on me while I was unconscious, although I have no memory of this. What happened next can only be defined as a life changing moment at the tender age of 18.
The light in the room I was waiting in was very soft yet illuminating as I turned my eyes to the door opening slowly and the Doctor came in. The look in his eyes took me by surprise as they were not smiling eyes, they were very concerned eyes. I felt a pinch of discomfort inside as he walked closer to me. What he said next, was the last thing I expected to hear, especially at my age.
While not taking his eyes off mine, He said, ‘Look me in the eyes, I have a question to ask you and your answer is a life and death answer…do you want to live to see 19?’ I looked at him, and gave a nervous laugh while saying, ‘Are you joking with me? This is that serious?’ It wasn’t registering in me what he was talking about yet when He said, ‘No. I am not joking. I want you to listen to me young lady, and I want you to really think about your answer to my question, because if you do not stop what you are doing right now, you will never live to see your next birthday.’ And he turned and walked out of the room and my life.
I got dressed in a state of total shock. I was slowly putting the pieces together because he didn’t actually tell me what it was that I was doing that had caused my very close brush with death. I was so close to dying that day and I didn’t even realize it until this happened to me! What began to make sense to me, is that all the heart palpitations I had been having were warning signs that the lifestyle I was living was subtly taking my life away from me. I cried unlike I have cried in my life all the way home as the realization hit me deep inside. I didn’t see the signs because I was young, and young people like me just don’t die…or do they?
This experience was to lead me to a place and a transcendent encounter with a person I had never known nor met personally in my own life, a future experience that would turn my way of life and the way I saw life completely around.
Well, it’s time to go so for now…until the next blog;
Many Blessings and Be Well.
InJoy this day!
with this loving reminder that, GOD is faithful, even when we are not ~
In Love of the Living Spirit of Christ,
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