You Nique By Design

‘You can explore the universe looking for somebody who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and you will not find that person anywhere.’

~ Author Unknown

 

“Love yourself, for if you don’t, how can you expect anybody else to love you?”

~ Author Unknown

 

“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.”

~ Oscar Wilde

 

What feelings are rising as you read these thoughts above? Are you feeling as I once did repelled, uncomfortable, angry, are they drawing your attention as in feeling a vibe of hmm, this keeps showing up…is there something about this idea that is ringing a bell deep inside? Or… What!?! Just what the heck is that suppose to mean!?! That sounds like the opposite of Love to me!

 

What does loving myself have to do with finding the love of my life!?

 

When these ideas finally began sinking into me, as in they kept showing up repeatedly in my life, I finally came to a place of realizing that a message had been being repeated to me for quite some time. A response to my desire to experience what a Love of a lifetime that lasted could be like, feel like and look like to me. It took me awhile to digest this as it wasn’t the way I thought it was going to look like or be like. I kept looking for the answer outside of me in relationships with another, even though I would have said I wasn’t looking for someone to fill the position.

 

If this were really true then I would not have had any emotional response to another’s behavior towards me that could ‘make me feel’ unloved or unworthy of love. I would be unaffected by another’s behavior being solidly grounded in my foundation of Being Love and loved.

 

I had a wonderful conversation with my younger daughter a couple of weeks ago. My quiet daughter who for years has been seemingly closed to investigating a Spiritual path. I see now, that she has been ‘listening’ all along. She was on her way home late from work and listening to a talk show that got her attention on the subject relating to the difference between Self Love and Self esteem.

 

The difference in having Self esteem and Self Love are seen after a while, when having accomplished doing a great many number of things you still feel like you are missing something in your life. There is still a deeper dissatisfaction being sensed within you.

 

I missed this for many, many years. I had plenty of self esteem being able to observe the ways I created wealth in my life. I had loving friends, money, good health and a good life. An open door life yet I kept feeling a discontentment within my life. So, I went around in circles with feeling guilty at feeling unappreciative of my blessings. I recall thinking, what do I have to not be grateful for? What is wrong with me? Am I doomed to not ever be happy? I so wanted to be happy!

 

Through all the unfolding events that I have shared here throughout my blog, I was uncovering the missing piece.

 

Self Love.

 

I’m not saying that I never felt this love, I just didn’t feel it all the time. And I kept seeing things showing up in life saying that this is where it all rested upon. So I tried to create it by going after it. And I have found that it is not something you can go after. It is something you have to experience by allowing it into your awareness.

 

By Being still long enough to touch it and get in touch with IT.

 

It’s already in you. We just keep blocking it by looking for it in our outside world in another person, in our careers, in our roles as child, parent, friend and lover.

 

Once we make this direct connection, it is now unblocked and allowed to flow into all areas of our life. We begin to live from Spirit Energy which is the Highest Vibration, Love Energy. And this affects every area of our life.

 

Like watching water flow into a dry and parched land and seeing the life rising up from the ground once seemingly lifeless.

 

I have been taken on the most amazing journey of my life and for the longest time did not see it this way at all.

 

I was drowning in my anguish and despair. Pain and suffering were my constant bedfellows and I feared losing them because it would leave such an empty space in my bed. Like losing a favorite toy or companion.

 

I did not know what it would be like without them as I had grown so accustomed to them being with me, fitting me like a glove. We become very use to our pain and comfortable in their restrictive hold on us to the point of not even being aware of its presence.

 

It seems like this is a normal way to live, and so we overlook this when feeling the there is something I am missing here vibe. We look right past this.

 

We play an I love me, I love me not game with ourselves.

 

Like pulling petals from a bloom to decide our ‘fate’. While we say it is just a child’s game, underneath there is a subtle yet hidden thought that believes it is so, …especially when it says, I love me not or he/she loves me not.

 

All the while we desire to have the bloom whose fragrance lingers consistently saying I love you and really feeling it is so.

 

And this Love shines Its beauty for us to see IT when we are still long enough to allow ourselves to feel its Light shining, rising from within us and through our eyes now knowing where ITs Love is coming from.

 

In here where it has always been, just waiting for us to notice.

 

What I have discovered is that this emptied space has been filled with the most amazing Energy. It is Light filled and Joyful. Peaceful and Loving.

 

I have come to realize that while it is possible to have self esteem and not have Self Love, I also realize that one cannot experience authentic Self Love without experiencing self esteem.

 

We see it all the time. Those who are very successful in the world’s idea of success yet they have a track record of discord in their closest relationships. Forever changing partners, businesses, cars, houses and clothes, always remaking themselves due to dissatisfaction while saying they just like newness and adventure, yet this seems to ring hollow as the words fall to the ground.

 

We can be happy in life. This is God’s Will that we be happy in life.

 

It is in having new eyes and seeing life through the eyes of Love, Self Love that we can change our lives and circumstances.

 

Why begin with Self Love? Well, if you do not love yourself, then how can you expect anyone else to love you? You are asking someone to take your place or give you what you are not willing to accept for yourself. And when they do not do it or give it in the way you were expecting, then you find yourself rejecting them and feeling rejected in return.

 

The push pull of Love. I want Love, I am afraid of Love.

 

How well do you receive compliments? Do you find yourself pulling away from someone who tells you how beautiful you are? Distrusting their intentions in an, what do they want from me kind of way?

 

Do you find yourself pulling away when someone says those three words…I love you?

 

Whoa !! Stop right there!! Don’t say that to me! Run for your life!! And then you run to the same dead end and fall down in a heap of tears while crying, nobody loves me?

 

Hmm…

 

If anyone reading this has been known to be one who cannot commit in a relationship, then I ask you to invite Divine Wisdom and Discernment to show you where in you, not another, this is coming from inside of you. The fear of commiting to yourself in Self Love.

 

Love does not project itself onto others. It leaves Its impression upon others. Like a lingering memory of a face that defines Love for you.

 

A lingering fragrance of a deeply inhaled bloom forever remembered long after the bloom has faded into the background. It remains intact within your memory.

 

Are you playing a game of I love me, I love me not with yourself?

 

Set yourself free by taking a loving nonjudgmental look inside of you and asking for Divine Insight to show you how you are doing this and ask to be set free so you can rightfully accept the Love that has always been present here for you. You can then leave your loving impression upon all the ones you meet from this moment on. Love without condemnation is Unconditional Love.

 

No one takes it from you nor gives it to you unless you believe this.

 

I lovingly impress upon you, to accept the Love waiting here for you today and then watch as your self esteem rockets leaving in its wake, trails of Love wherever it goes.

 

No more, I love me, I love me not.

 

Open to Love and you will see Love everywhere you look because you are leaving Love’s impression in every footstep you make.

 

I AM Love Being Present.

 

Many Blessings, Be Well,

 

InJoy this day,

Discovering the Love you have always been searching for,

Its so much closer than you may know because, IT is inside of you,

 

Julia