Moving Day ~
“I think it happens to everyone as they grow up. You find out who you are and what you want, and then you realize that people you’ve known forever don’t see things the way you do. And so you keep the wonderful memories, but find yourself moving on.”
~ Nicholas Sparks
Pardon my messy blog space here. Moving Day is Moving On, with another closing of a chapter in my life. I moved my blog Host like I moved my soul’s Host.
My blog currently reminds me of the boxes still unpacked and sitting in the front room once the process of moving out of one place and into another has ended, the transition left my blog messy, in disarray by the character marks dotted all throughout like packing peanuts…
I have been spending my moments walking through my newly Hosted place, taking some time to return to my Facebook and Pinterest pages, after a long sabbatical, a little more matured in a way that has deepened my ability to notice just how much has changed in my life in less than a year…because I have been changed, and I’ve been watching this inner change showing up and moving outside my skin and into my material universe.
“Celebrate endings – for they precede new beginnings.”
~ Jonathan Lockwood Huie
In this new space I can write my stories with abandon and let the words fly upward, tilting my head, and smiling while watching them go, as I release each one like butterflies on the upwind, messenger’s of love’s goodwill in prayers traveling across vast miles and reaching distant places.
Everyone loves hearing a story. Some like drama, some like mystery, some like comedy, and so on. We can tell a lot about a person by the books they read and keep in their library, even if it is a ‘private’ collection, their reading influence will show outwardly.
I have an internal library of stories filling the shelves of my life, page by day page being written, until each chapter is full, and it’s time to begin a new one. Telling the story of my life as it unfolds outwardly into the light of day.
I’ve listened to others telling their stories, and have been on a life long journey of being able to listen, without losing my own voice in the crowd, to be able to tell my side of a story, with the same rights as expressed by others to tell theirs.
I am not a loud person by nature but writing has a way of giving depth to voice, echoing through dimensions, that can be heard above the crowds, and the din, by reaching into the soul of others.
So, I dedicate this blog post as the last of my story in the closed chapter that ended my once upon a time ago phase of time spent in the forums that had become a home of sorts to me for over four years of my life.
To all the people whom I once participated in the forums with for over four years, may you receive this in the spirit it is intended and grow from it as much as I have.
When I resigned from the forums, I wrestled with the idea of going in and confronting Adrian in the forums to match his argumentative nature I could sense in him having towards me. I was told to not argue with a person whose mind wasn’t open to the experience I had had. Out of compassion, not anger.
He has yet to experience it as I noticed when he felt it was his duty to comment on Facebook regarding me.
I did not speak publicly about my resignation to respect others privacy, especially the innocent ones.
I listened to the Holy Spirit and left the forums without giving nor leaving any reason publicly, this has allowed others to assume and make up stories as to why I left, especially since I was not there to argue with them, nor did I feel the need to explain to the members as to the reason of why I was leaving.
I simply closed the door and moved on. My time was done there.
Reason: Different spirit ~ different ‘Way’ ~ Simply said.
I no longer embraced the idea that we are God. I no longer embraced the idea that we can do no wrong, and sadly the state of our world is the evidence that we are quite capable of choosing one nature over another.
I didn’t agree with my friend, that he was the ‘guide’ for all of humanity, and this became quite clear to me due to having the expansion of my understanding enlarged through a personal encounter with Christ, last summer, out of the blue, while I was still participating with the forums.
My turn around was as much a surprise to me as it was for others.
Any person who sees themselves as a ‘guru’ or ‘guide’ of others, tends to want to surround themselves with people who agree with them. Making the person their leader while they are his followers.
I’m not a follower of people, I became a follower of Christ.
This makes me best friend material or worst enemy material.
‘I awoke, only to see that the rest of the world is still asleep.’
~ Leonardo Da Vinci
I grew so much spiritually in this forum while still embracing my neo-pagan way, and after having my transcendent experience unexpectedly, and being turned around from the way I understood ‘spirituality’ to mean…well…as the opening quote says,
‘…and then you realize that the people you’ve known forever (or long enough), don’t see things the way you do.’
They couldn’t because they haven’t experienced-awakened to it yet for themselves, or we would be seeing things in the same way.
This is when it’s moving day. To stay is death and to go is life.
I was scrolling through my facebook homepage, the day after Laura, my replacement in the forums, approached me in there, when I noticed the administrator of the forums had made a comment towards me on her wall, and I thought ‘wow, so this is where this has been going since I left’…
I have something to say to you both.
Adrian, I didn’t respond on a wall that was not mine, out of respect for Laura.
To shedding some light:
~ * ~ * ~♥~ * ~ * ~
In 2007, I signed up for Adrian’s newsletter and ordered a book and due to some difficulties I was having with the ordering, I wrote to his ‘customer service’ only to find that he was the customer service and we began to communicate privately, which led into enjoying a wonderful friendship and a period of growth in my life in many ways.
One day in January 2008, he invited me to come into his forum via a direct link, and I posted my first post ever online on the topic of children. I had crossed a new threshold. I thought of my brother who had been trying for seven years to drill into me a computer aptitude and how happy he would be that I was online and involved in a computer activity.
Adrian, is a computer programmer, and was kind enough to offer to set up my blog and host it for over four years. This was a dream come true for me. How can I possibly not feel gratitude and appreciation towards him, who fulfilled a dream for me?
We went on to become good friends, who communicated for over the past four years.
My intuition returned and grew while playing in this forum. I cannot explain what this is like to experience but whenever I went in, I went in with each day anew, and only the intention to read, but not for the purpose of writing anything. Being in the forums and being given my blog, opened up the latent gift of writing that had laid dormant within me for years. It opened me up in ways that I cannot express enough gratitude for.
The gift of self expression ~ heart expressing soulfully through my fingertips.
I was stepping forward in responding to the persistent inner urging to share my journey openly, unfolding in front of the world.
And so, it seems I still am.
So after reading Adrian’s comments posted on Laura’s wall, which made no sense whatsoever, I posted on my own wall so as to not write on Laura’s wall out of respect of not getting into a disagreement with Adrian on another’s wall.
I stood on my own and away from the crowd.
This was misunderstood as being jealous of Adrian and Laura, I was to notice later…
I left the forums because Adrian and I had grown differently by the way we were traveling spiritually. Adrian was never my ‘guru’ nor teacher, I always held him to be my friend.
That he did not understand this, is for him to figure out.
There is no jealousy towards you from me Laura truly. I have never compared myself to you, or any other in the forums, and this is why my blog was named the way it is. Adrian can vouch for this if he is honest.
Being truthful is not always about being jealous nor mean spirited to another. It is difficult to be true, but it yields growth that can lead to more trusting in relationships of all kinds, and that is my heart for all others. Growth.
I simply refuse to play the game of this being about competing for a man, yet I have met many women in life who cannot enjoy a man if they haven’t ‘earned’ him by competing against another woman for him.
Not me, and I mentioned this more than once in the forums because it seems if a woman disagreed about or with another woman it was automatically assumed to be jealousy, even when speaking about a child!
I gladly give my place as being his friend to you, Laura, because you have great need of him.
I didn’t need Adrian, I enjoyed him as my friend by freewill choice, even though he was very different from me, that’s what I appreciated, it enlarged my view.
I did not come seeking for you nor Adrian on Facebook.
I closed that door.
And when I am done talking, I am done talking.
Please hear me.
Well, it’s time to go and open another box…
In closing, Adrian, we were close friends, and for that I thank you. And for all the lovely gifts I received from the knowing of you.
For the forums, the blog, meeting wonderful people, growing in my understanding spiritually.
Especially for introducing me to my Beloved Young Poet, whom I send butterflies as messengers on the winds of love to bring to remembrance the love we share In Heart and Soul and Spirit that time cannot erase ever.
Someday, I will tell him myself.
For now, I offer Peace to you and to you Laura, in the name of Christ, and all whom are in the forums.
When it’s time, it’s just time. I hope you really understand more why I left, if not then I can do no more anyway.
This chapter of my life is closed.
Goodbye Forums ~ I wish you all well.
“Some people are going to leave, but that’s not the end of your story. That’s the end of their part in your story.”
~ Author Unknown
InJoy this day!
In the Love of Living in the Spirit of Yahshua Christ,
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