Order in the House ~
‘The day the child realizes that all adults are imperfect, he becomes an adolescent, the day he forgives them, he becomes an adult, the day he forgives himself, he becomes wise.’
~ Alden Nowlan
‘You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was.’
~ Abraham Lincoln
‘ The trick is growing up without growing old.’
~ Casey Stengel
‘Growing up is a process, not an event.’
~ Paul B. Jamison
‘The key to growth is the introduction of higher dimensions of consciousness into our awareness.’
~ Lao Tzu
This is a response I had intended to post in OUR Forums where I participate on a regular basis. I wrote this to a younger friend known as G,regarding his Spiritual Journey and how he views it right now at the wonderful age of 16.
I am relating with him about my journey from my past experienceand how the way I once saw my life, while coming into a deeper understanding of my self has allowed me to forgive my parents. The source of my life ‘issues’. Which affected every area of my life including my view of ‘God’ or Source.
This came about through the years, as my views continually changed and I found myself retracing my steps, being led back to home in the retracing of where my thoughts originally formed and were sprung from. Back into myself being the sole creator of my life based on my thoughts that I choose to keep. Having them, keeping them and letting them go to allow new thoughts in.
As I forgave others along the way back, I found that I was at the same time forgiving myself by letting all the ones in my life off the ‘hook’. I was lightening my lode. I realized that like me, they really were doing the best they could with what they knew.
While ‘no size fits all’ as my friend Talker shares regarding ones particular thoughts about ones unique life experiences and circumstances, in going through the many diverse life circumstances and experiences that we all do, leads us in time to become more aware of what it will take to lead us into knowing how to help ourself. By getting to know ourself and what seems to be the reasons in ourselves to choose to do the things that we do.
A process that is eventually recognized by figuring out for ourself what is and isn’t working. You will see at some point in your life as you continue to do the ‘Home’ work on getting to know and understand yourself better, how, in everything that is happening and has, that each experience has been building upon the next experience that will lead you to know how to help yourself. You drop some to pick up another.
Some call it prep work, apprenticing and then becoming a journeyman of the trade leading into the skill of knowing oneself. Self Mastery. We so want to skip some steps yes? Hurry up and get me there!
One size does fit all in the Fabric that the experience is made from as in being cut from the same Love cloth. It’s a play on words thing…
Life right now looks the way it does in regards to your dad G based on what you know right now, and I will be honest and share with you that my dad was very absent from my life too, and just last year he popped back up after all these years and behaved as though he expected everything to be like he had been here all this time. He was quite full of expectations. I realized how full of expectations I had been too by emptying them out on him. And this revealed what part of me was still staying in bed, the bed of my past. Or my crib. I had not grown out of my crib when it came to my dad and mom and brother and …
And unlike your mom, my mom was not emotionally or physically supportive of me either in my growing up years or rather not in the way I thought this ‘should’ look like. So, I colored my view of my parents for years, I dressed them in costumes of ‘evil villains’ and yet, as the years went by I kept feeling unhappy with myself and my life and I had accomplished alot in my life even for being brought up the way I had, without alot of parental attention, which is equal to Love and Acceptance to a child.
It was time for this child known as Julia to grow up. And be her own Parent now…
My parents not being around for the most part (physically and emotionally) allowed one thought to lead into another, year after year. At some point the idea of it all really being about me and my thoughts and choices of what thoughts I hung onto, really began to sink in.
I call it the sifting and sorting process. Same feelings and emotions repeating and growing more obvious yet the circumstance or person was wearing a ‘different’ costume. I was the one common factor in each different circumstance and experience. It was about me after all…
I spent a good portion of my time not being ready to let go of my thoughts as they had become my cover, my security blanket that allowed me to feel safe in the world I had come to know and knowing how to expect things to be with regularity. I knew what to expect and so I responded in the same way over and over again. It just wasn’t getting me to where I wanted to be and I finally realized this, that it was me who had to do the changing if I were to ever see a change in my life.
I have come to understand that you work through all this when you are ready to work on it, Honest. No one can force the process in themself or for another. Time is the physical world’s tool for growing in our understanding of life, our world view and eventually we see it differently when we begin to see our self differently. How?
For myself it was when I began to see that I wasn’t being asked to give something up so much, I was being shown to give up the ‘idea’ that I was losing something of value. I was actually gaining something of value in exchange for something that had ‘expired’.
By cleaning out the old and out grown thoughts I had kept tucked into my ‘food for thought’ bag, there was more room for new thoughts to flow in and this is what has allowed me to grow into Love, beginning with understanding myself first. These fresh thoughts have given me the sustenance to grow into me and now owning this Love in me, I have it to extend to others as my growth is continually showing up.
Love in me is showing up as me, and as You Are showing up as Love in you, you will feel this when you see this in yourself. Not so much thinking about when it will, it’s in being aware that you have it in you right now.
It’s here in you and me, the only thing is to be willing to admit that you own it already by being willing to see it in yourself. We grow into our InHeritance it seems…
It took realizing for me that in my anger (hurt) towards my parents, I was putting them up for view and re-view, a very critical one, throwing stones and poking swords and pins and needles into them by the thoughts I held against them, until I came to a realization.
I was keeping them on a pedestal or a cross and would not allow them to be what they are in shared experience along with me. Children tend to idolize their parents at a very young age and it’s when this image becomes a ‘fallen’ idol that we tend to get stuck on our drawing, our image by the shock of this. Like when children ‘find’ out that the Tooth Faerie is mom or dad kind of idea.
A you blew it, you’re only made of clay as we grind it into dust.We make them and others pay for this over and over again. That fallen image is alot of weight to lug around honestly, dust and all…
Seeing my parents as having a very Human experience freed me up to see the Infinite in them as well.? I came to see their human side and by understanding their childhood experiences more, I was able to expand in my understanding why they did what they did. And while I can’t change the way they did it with me anymore than they can with their parents, I understand that they did it based on their full understanding in the moment of themself and how they related with the world at the time.
This way of understanding myself has shifted my view of my past, parents, ancestors and all and affects my future, because I am extending this current moment of understanding into my children and grandchidren.
The time came when I woke up and I quit dreaming my nightmares and I got out of bed (my past) and began to clean my room (ridding myself of trash build up and out grown things) and then did the same with the rest of my inner and outer house and then I opened the door and walked out in Peace. My house being put into order. All is well and right in my world by Divine Order.
The old house is up for sale. I can let go of it in gratitude …
Now, it’s a matter of pulling a weed here and there, tossing the junk mail as it comes in. Kinda like that. Low maintenance living.
You are fine the way you are right now and will grow in understanding that you are exactly where you are to be in every moment. Accepting where you are in the way you feel about your dad or whomever has hurt you right now will give you more Peace than fighting against these feelings. Honest. It is what it is. And Blessings to your mom and those surrounding you whom Love and support you truly. I am happy to hear that you have such a Loving Gift, your daily Love Note to remind you of who you really are.
Reminding you, that you are worthy of your own Love and Acceptance.
I looked into what was felt as lacking in my relationships with my parents in my view and then I asked God (Source) to fill in the blanks. Doing this has really ‘worked’ itself out for me is all I can share in my healing process, as I look back and see where I once was and where I am now.
I asked for a Miracle when I was over and done with my own way of fixing things, people and myself and this left me open to receiving it and I have received it. I have peace and a sense of Orderliness in my life, inside and outside more and more…
Many Blessings and Be Well ~
InJoy this day knowing that the Miracle you have asked for is given the moment you ask, you will notice its arrival when you are ready to receive it and allow it to show up in God’s ~ Source’s timing in your life ~ It’s here in the Perfect ~Time~ Space~ Sequential~ Order of things. Our Source knows when we are ready ~ It’s when we are ready to accept our healing and step fully into it.
A Deep Heartfelt gratitude is what it feels like when we arrive, once open to receiving IT.
What may seem to take a lifetime for us in coming, is as a day for our Source because while It moves with us in time, IT does not dwell in time, It is Eternal Spirit Energy as we are.
Source dwells in us as Eternal Being…
To your Miracle, it’s right here when you are ready in the perfect moment to open your eyes to seeing it right here, right now. You will have grown into being able to handle your Miracle.
You are your own Love Miracle,
Extending Love to All today ~
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