The Silent Witness
“Listen. Make a way for yourself.
Stop looking in the other way of looking.”
— Rumi
“Borrow the Beloved’s eyes. Look through those,
and you will see the Beloved’s face everywhere.”
— Rumi
“For it was not into my ears you whispered, it was my heart.
It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.”
— Judy Garland
I have been sharing here in my blog about the evolving progression through my daily life experiences, what it has been like for me in my ongoing Spiritual realization of who I am.
I have been a part of the collective growing mind of consciousness movement all of my life here thus far, and as I look through the pages of the scrap book photo album I have created and am now sharing here with you, I can see the progress I have made and the way I have been faithfully led by an Unseen hand.
This Unseen Hand is still leading me and is bringing me to this place, having grown in my understanding to be where I am standing now, Authentically speaking in my Julia Voice, expressing from my Divine God Nature and now recognize is in all of us.
I see that IT IS the face of Divine Love’s Light, reflecting and mirroring, revealing Itself to me, in and through each one I meet and in everything I am experiencing in my life in every moment when I choose to allow myself to awaken and see in another way of seeing, everything that plays out in all of my daily living moments, by the living of my life as I have and now know IT.
I have referenced in my blog here the Unseen Hand. Another ‘name’ I can use is ‘The Silent Witness’. The one who observes what is going on at any given moment, the One I feel in deja vu sensing moments of seeing behind the physical seeing eyes, hearing beyond the physical hearing ears. My Authentic Divine Self contained in my unique body.
When I first responded to the beckoning invitation of a “Psst!” I was by myself, there was no one else physically present with me. While I was certain that I had ‘heard’ it, I wasn’t really sure if I was just hearing things or imagining things. It was a look around to see where it was coming from. Even though no one was there, I knew I had heard the “Psst!”
Being curious by nature, I decided to explore what I was experiencing so I began to Ask questions out loud, “Who said that! Who are you? What do you want? Show yourself to me, I want to know who you are.” Questions and thoughts like these began arising within me. I wasn’t afraid of it because with it was a deep sense of being safe and an underlying peacefulness in its presence.
I began talking to this Presence while I went about my daily doings. What is interesting to note at this point, is that I began receiving Answers to what I was Asking! Not audibly, but a sense of knowing ‘Someone or Something’ was answering me. Something in my physical world would show up and affirm the Answer I was sensing! H mm… this is fascinating and interesting. It created a desire within me to explore what I was newly experiencing.
I sensed I was onto something.
There were also the upheavals coming through my experiencing and like powerful waves crashing onto me I would begin losing sight of the shore of my security. I became fearful and afraid that I had somehow lost this connection and would never be able to find it again, thinking and believing that I wasn’t going to make it through whatever hell I was experiencing sometimes with the fear of being left a paralyzed shell.
This is what fear does to us. It feels so real that it creates a false belief that one can be separated from their (always right here and present) constant source of security, peace and trust, our rightful state of being.
Fear, worry and anxiety distracts us by changing the way we are seeing what is playing out in front of us.
I like everyone else, have had plenty of opportunities to go through the ‘repeating’ of these upheavals to the point where I was so exhausted in every part of my being; mind, body and soul; from my struggling to keep swimming against the tides, trying to keep my head above water, not knowing which way was up or down, I was fighting with it until I finally had no more energy to struggle, I stopped doing anything and I accepted where I was and surrendered myself to whatever the outcome would be that was taking place in this particular momentary experience in my life. This left me a space to see it from another angle, how I had been ’seeing’ it.
A sink or swim moment of choosing in my life. Do I keep fighting it or relax into it?
I chose to stop fighting with what was happening and let go. I didn’t sink. I floated and I rose up until I reached the surface, I could breathe once again.
Any surfer will tell you that when you lose your board in the ocean while surfing in large powerful waves, you are creating the possibility of drowning in the waves if you panic and begin swimming frantically to get to the top for air.
Why? Because light reflects into the water and it’s the many bubbles (separated water beads) which distract ones ability to discern which way is up or down. It’s confusing. It’s all water just different aspects of water. Close your eyes and ears to the distractions of looking at the separated bubbles. By relaxing into where you are, the body’s natural buoyancy will work with the water in raising your body back up to the surface.
Like one big self contained bubble.
Floating in water is natural when you relax with it. It’s Trust. Trust the water to do what it naturally does and what you naturally do in water when you are absorbed in it.
Trust that you already know what to do, no matter what it may appear to be right now, you’ve come this far yes?
How does this play into the Silent Witness?
As I view my life through the many experiences I have had so far, I realized there were a lot of voices in my head at one time. The frequent visitors. The bubbles of distraction in my ocean of life being. I call it the Ego mind.
Ego voice is an imitation and only a reflection of the Light, it takes practicing a moment by moment looking beyond the reflection to look directly into the Light, the source of the reflection. Do I close my eyes and ears to the daily distractions and listen by focusing on sensing and hearing the One Voice that can only be heard in the Silence? Or do I find myself panicking by seeking out the many counselors and by forgetting what I have heard and seen and known.
Like a child dropping its toy running to reach for the next one, just enjoying it all but not attached to any of them. They know how to play yet do not forget who they are after the playing is done. I believe this is why children sleep so peacefully, and do not experience Identity (ego) crisis.
They do not wrestle with being anyone or anything. They can enjoy creatively imagining being all these other characters without losing the natural sense of themselves, because they are all these characters in one being. They just don’t leave themselves scattered.
This is who we are when we just allow ourselves to Be.
It is a leave myself alone, leave myself Be, stop picking on myself state of Being.
By the growing into of my understanding, that It is what It is right now and not trying so hard to change anything into what it isn’t right now, I realize that by becoming One with all aspects of my life I grow in my trust of myself and everything that seems to be happening to me.
I Ask my Silent Witness, show me what and how you see, what you are saying and hearing, what is in this lesson of the Love I am evolving into? What are you reminding me about here? Each Answer has grown my trust to the point where now, I only Ask the questions when I am experiencing something that seems new to me. The Unseen Hand has been leading me through it all to the realization that the Answer is in Being One with myself. It is only in this position that I realize my connectedness to my Source of Life and all life.
This Silent Witness is my Very Essence, my God Nature, the Eternal Thou that is me, the very fibers of my being and woven into everyone and everything I experience. It has taken me years of practicing to get this. I kept listening to my many voices of Ego and all the while my Authentic Divine Voice silently watching and being present throughout it all. It’s not a screamer. So it is in learning to get into the Silence by stilling the ego voices that I can hear it speaking to me. Gathering all of my characters back into one place.
Ego mind not the physical body, does not accept anything or anyone outside of itself. It is always seeking to reinforce its separate identity. How can you tell who is leading?
Is what I am saying, or doing bringing me peace in this experience? A state of Oneness?
If it isn’t then it is ego at work distracting me with thoughts of ‘fixing’ my situation by using anxiety, worry, stress, running away from and struggling against myself and all the other characters of me playing out in others who are only a reflection of myself. Do you have feelings of uncertainty, unworthiness or competitiveness, needing to be heard, demanding others attention in some way or sulk in dark corners when you don’t get the attention you are seeking?
That’s just ego mind at work. It’s in remembering that you already have all of you and the ability to recognize the Voice that’s Authentically your own voice when it is speaking to you. You can hear it when you are willing to still all the chattering and listen. It takes practice to silence the ego’s voice. It is very clever and can create all manner of rabbit chases.
This is what I mean by my life being a bread crumb trail. I walk it backwards, retracing my steps, looking at it from a different way of seeing and hearing. I’m walking it not running away from it. Calling my Authentic Self back from the four corners of my life and bringing myself all back into ONE. All of me as in all of you who have lovingly played your part in reminding me of this very Truth.
This is what Unconditional Love means to me. I see no enemies. I see aspects of myself that I must bring back into Unity as I realize all of me and my Divine Lover within is what is calling me to awaken.
My bread crumb trail transformed into my Path of Jewels Experience.
What have I learned from my Silent Witness so far?
Patience.
Trust.
That All is Well and is Perfectly unfolding in my life now.
Love is who I Am for I am the very Essence of Divine Love’s Light and Spirit Being-ness.
In closing, it is by every experience in my life that has brought me to this realization. It has come through the culmination of having had some very painful and hard lessons in my life to find myself in this place. My lessons seemed painful and hard because I wasn’t paying attention to my Inner Silent Witness, I was being distracted by my ego mind. I was choosing a pseudo-self shadow of an experience over my Authentic Light Being Self and that is what made it seem so painful and hard.
It’s the realization between finding one’s way home and knowing you never left it.
It is Divine Love’s ‘calling’ to me, shaking me awake from my dream of believing myself lost until I awaken and know that I am already home. I have all I ‘need’ right here, right now.
I leave you with two thoughts to tuck into your Inner pocket to sustain you today;
“There is no world outside us. The world is, in fact, our collective projections of love and fear, hopes and conflicts.”
A Year of Daily Wisdom by Marianne Williamson
“Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself and know
that everything in this life has a purpose.”
— Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
Love beckons…Do you recognize the sound of your Authentic Voice?
Many Blessings, Be Well and InJoy Being with the Silent Witness of your own life today,
Trust in the process of your life as you are now experiencing it,
As a Beloved Friend said to me recently,
Welcome Home,
Julia
